Take.Me.Anywhere

Love, from all of the people, you disappointed me the most. You are my truly enemy now, Love. I from all the people were the one who really wanted you, that believed you, maybe even when nobody believed you, I believed, I lived for you. Love resembles someone young, someone who loses himself trying to build an idea, love looks like he’s so full of anticipation that he arrives in hurry, he makes his attempt very tumultuously but he’s so excited that he forgets to divide that love per the two. So one ends up loving alone. 

I anxiously wait for the moment when I will not be crying while writing this. I am the girl that never believed in true love. I was always in my corner. I felt love in the little things I did, like drawing, listening to music and crying while making scenarios in my head, while seeing memories in front of me, while loving my family, that love was enough for me for ages. Some day love corrupted me. I remember that 9 of December, I did not tell anyone where I was heading to. I just picked up some blue jeans, my favorites at the time, put my sweater weather and put on my black militar boots. I was ready to meet you love. And I did. I was so afraid to meet you that you thought I did not like you. I was just trying to be strong when I knew those were the last minutes of strength because in the second you turned your body to me and I looked you in the eyes I fell in love and I became weak. And to this day I am trying to gain my strength. Almost two years have passed since we met. I

The last rays of sun. As I lay in the sofa, watching the day ends I know that I will feel this misery for a long, long time. There's moments when I accept that maybe it will be like this for ever. This thick emptiness that does not go away. We live in the same city, the same space and time, yet we don't share any of it. You are doing something only you care about. Like it is going to full fill all of your needs. And you simply don't care about my existence. They're hundreds, the messages I send to you that don't have any reply. It's a crescent monologue of a tormented soul trying to open your eyes fir this error. Don't you see how shallow and envious you're being? Can't you tell? I'm going to wait and wait, because there's no other solution. My heart is yours.

I try to reach out for you, I imagine all the possibilities I have to reach you. Because I look in the window and I still can't imagine I no longer talk with you. Am I guilty for feeling dead inside? There's a war inside me and I'm definitely losing.  I feel like I need to prove you something, to prove that I am worth your time, worth your existence near me. I am driving insane. You were the one who said you were getting worried about my obsession, but there is no obsession. Just someone trying to not give up. Because what I feel inside is big enough to take me with it. I am loving you still. The way I can only love and it is with everything. Part of me is already insane, the other part just wants to survive.  Please save me.